Most Americans have accepted the flood of new airport security measures since 9/11 with little complaint. We all know these inconveniences are worth it, in exchange for better security and peace of mind.

However, there is a point at which the regulations become absurd and the rules defy simple logic.

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My friend, Miho, was flying in from Japan for a visit. The airline reps were letting us meet her at the gate, since she has some trouble with English (though not as much as we implied.)

My 3-year-old, Matthew, was carrying the Winnie the Pooh balloon my wife, Melissa, bought as a welcome gift. It was 10:30 p.m. The airport was almost empty.

At the pre-screening area we showed the lady our gate passes. Then I realized I had a penknife on my keychain. Nothing serious, just a nail file, a 1-inch, dull blade and a miniature pair of scissors. It was only a threat to drinking straws or CD wrappers, but you know how it is today.

"Oh, you can't go through with that," said the man in the green blazer, squinting at me lazily through smoky glasses.

"Yes, I know that."

"If you even go up there with that, they'll throw you in jail. What is it here, the Fulton County Jail?" the man asked the TSA woman next to him. "Is it Fulton here, or . . . where . . . what city is this, technically?"

Put in jail for forgetting you have a metal toothpick on your key ring? I thought it was absurd, but then remembered that Atlanta's was the airport that shut down for nine hours because a man ran the wrong direction on an escalator.

"Thanks, I know. I'd like to stick with my party. Can't I put this in a locker or something and come back for it later?"

"You can throw it in the trash, I guess," the man said.

"But that would not help me get it back," I replied through gritted teeth.

The woman eventually agreed to hold it at her station for me until I came back.

At the screening area, we put our jackets, shoes and diaper bag on the X-ray machine, and my wife and kid passed through without incident. Then the TSA agent said to me: "Sir, you'll have to put that through the machine."

A quick check of my person showed no jacket, no shoes, no bag. "The balloon, sir," she said. "You'll have to put it through the X-ray machine."

For a moment, I just blinked at her. Then I regarded the balloon, trying to conceive of what possible threat a Mylar balloon could pose. A normal-sized balloon has only enough lift to counteract little more than its own weight, so I couldn't hide much in the balloon. It was tied by a length of ribbon to a plastic star, to keep it from floating away. I tied the ribbon around a tray and sent it through the machine.

During the tram ride to the terminal, I thought about the possible dangers of a Winnie the Pooh Mylar balloon. Forget reason, think about an action movie where the villain goes into a secure area looking to do some evil deed, and he carries in a balloon. Here's what I came up with:

(1) The balloon may be filled with hydrogen instead of helium. Since hydrogen is extremely flammable (think Hindenberg), the balloon could be lit, causing a flash and a brief popping sound. Villains could use this as a diversion and take a hostage. (However, it would only startle geriatrics with their hearing aids turned up to 11.)

(2) It might be filled with knockout gas. Just act like a curious small-plane pilot and ask to see the cockpit. Then pop the balloon. (However, one balloon can only carry half the gas needed to make one person slightly woozy. You'd have to be carrying about 10 large balloons to do the job, and that might look suspicious.)

(3) The ribbon might be used to strangle a security guard. However, given the tensile strength of balloon ribbons, you may have to double it up twice, which reduces the effective circumference.

(4) The yellow plastic star anchoring the balloon down could have sharp edges. If the man were a skilled ninja, this could become a throwing star and possibly raise a welt on a hapless victim.

I hope this serves as a warning to fellow travelers. In hindsight, I can't believe that the TSA agent let me take this dangerous device into the terminal at all!

And if any of you see someone bring one of these potentially lethal devices into the airport, I advise you to seize it immediately and pop it with a safety pin.

Oh, I forgot, your safety pin was confiscated at the screening area. Never mind.

• Chris Kern is a software developer who lives in Flowery Branch.